[The A Life Team]

Hey everyone!

This is the poll for Episode 8 of the asexy podcast A Life, in which the brave crew of A Life takes a different approach to the show by not having any formal topic whatsoever. We get the train moving and see where it ends up. That takes us to a lot of different topics including, but not limited to, children and old ladies. And no, we don't forget the zombies either.

If none of the poll choices make sense to you, give our newest episode a listen first.

~The A Life Team

[Keegan]

I want to adopt a children or two .

[kaye-jaye]

I like children, I guess. But IF I had any, they'd be adopted. I don't really understand the urge to pass on our genes.. Could someone explain that? It's not like the population will go extinct if some of these 7 billion people stop having children.

[stephanato]

I picked "I don't mind children" because that's how I usually feel... As long as I'm not with them 24/7, it's all good!
My mom and my aunt keep on assuming that I'll get married and have kids. When I told them that it was highly unlikely that it would happen, my aunt answered in an appalled tone, "What? That's unthinkable! Of course not... You're a woman! You must have kids!"

Really. Why "must" I?

Maybe in the far future, I'll adopt. But I am certainly not going to have any of my own.

But I get quite frustrated sometimes when I see people having kids through biological means. I know it's their choice, and I respect that, but I can't help having an urge to yell at pregnant women whenever I see them. (Don't worry, I never do.) As Henrik said in a previous podcast, the world population is approaching 7 billion. The last thing we need is more kids... With all the current problems we have, continually overpopulating the world isn't going to be much help. At the rate things are going, I really wouldn't be surprised if the world ended in 2012.

I'm really glad you guys asked this question. This particular subject brings up a lot of strong feelings in me, and it's nice to know that there are people out there who share similar views (thank you previous posters!)

Personally, I think that adoption is the best thing to do. I keep on thinking of all those little girls in China who abandoned because they're female (I'm Chinese myself), and well, what the heck. I truly believe that love between an adoptive child and her/his parent can be just as strong as the love between a child and her/his biological parent. From my experiences, love is something that grows and evolves over time.

I wonder (just throwing this out there), is it possible that it could somewhat be the other way around: perhaps our opinion on children affects up to a certain degree our asexuality?

Okay, as you guys say, "I'm going to shut up now." (I love that line, btw.)

[Blerdaggedon]

As long as I can give them away at the end of the day, I think children are fantastic.

[Mizal]

I want to have a child of my own in the future, biologically. I love kids.

[cold fire]

i'm not too fond of kids.

[Ily]

kaye-jaye, on Oct 18 2009, 04:35 PM, said:

I don't really understand the urge to pass on our genes.

I don't get it either.

[AimeendFish]

Ily, on Oct 19 2009, 06:00 PM, said:

kaye-jaye, on Oct 18 2009, 04:35 PM, said:

I don't really understand the urge to pass on our genes.

I don't get it either.

But its much more!
Its the urge to raise a child and screw them up as best as you possibly can. To embarrassed them in front of their friends and to hear their temper tantrums when you don't give them what they want.
Im going to be an awesome parent someday


but yeah...I would like kids some day..in the far future.

[Ily]

AimeendFire, on Oct 19 2009, 09:08 PM, said:

Ily, on Oct 19 2009, 06:00 PM, said:

kaye-jaye, on Oct 18 2009, 04:35 PM, said:

I don't really understand the urge to pass on our genes.

I don't get it either.

But its much more!
Its the urge to raise a child and screw them up as best as you possibly can. To embarrassed them in front of their friends and to hear their temper tantrums when you don't give them what they want.
Im going to be an awesome parent someday


but yeah...I would like kids some day..in the far future.

Well, passing on your genes isn't the same as raising children. If you want to do one without the other, you can always adopt-- I might do that someday.

[CBC.Chicken.Girl]

I feel like I've already answered this question a million times, but seeing as this is for the podcast...

I answered "I don't mind children" -- but they'd better not be my own! I know I'd mentally mess up any kid I ever had, and I'm not at all a patient person. I get frustrated, exasperated, annoyed, exhausted, etc. very easily, and I know I couldn't handle the stresses that come with parenting a child. Never mind the fact that pregnancy and childbirth horrify me to the point where I'd be in danger of harming myself if I were ever pregnant.

So, they're fine if they belong to other people. I can handle them in small doses, and even enjoy the company of kids. But I don't ever want to be the one responsible for them at the end of the day.

[Parth]

I chose door number 2. I used to imagine myself with children, but after finding out I was asexual AND that I was intersexed, I began to see the upside to not having kids.
I love my niece and nephews to pieces, but I'm glad that at the end of the day they go back to my sister.
In fact, after I found out I couldn't naturally have children (I could with lots of hormones and a donor egg), I decided to look into the idea of being "childfree". I suppose that was when I really decided I don't want children. There is a lot I can give the world besides an extra mouth or two to feed.

[Plushii]

I voted option two. I honestly love children, but I don't see myself having any of my own, through biological means or adoption. I might have very strong material instincts, but on the flip side, my mood is unpredictable and unstable at best, and that is not a good quality to have as a mother. As much as I want kids of my own, unless the chemicals in my brain decide to stop throwing frat parties, I think I'll pass on having any. I'll never forgive myself if I wind up hurting them or abusing them in some way, even if only slightly. But hey, at least I've got my sister's kids to love and spoil when she has them!

I don't think my asexuality has anything to do with it. I know there are sexuals who absolutely haaaaate kids with all their being, and I'm sure there's asexuals who hate kids with all their being. Just like those, there are both sexuals and asexuals who love kids with all their being.

If my mood calms down by the time I'm settled down with my life (You know, done with school, good, steady paying job), I'll definitely consider adopting a child or two. I have no desire to pass down my genes, and the idea of sex, pregnancy, and childbirth doesn't appeal to me at all!

But that's a long time from now. I'm only 16 at the moment. The one thing that is certain is that I'll be adopting animals from animal shelters. XD I have to get my maternal instincts out somehow!

[jrackula]

I don't think sexuality has anything to do with whether or not you like or want children. All kinds of people have different opinions on kids- it seems more dependent on how patient a person is than anything else. I happen to get along well with them and would like to raise my own or to adopt if I ever got the chance. As much as I adore kids though, I'm not good with babies. They're a bit too much for me to handle. And they know it too just by looking at me, babies so much as hear their parent suggest I hold them and they get nervous and cry so I can't even attempt to adjust to being around them as much as I'd like to XD

[FelineHuggles]

Don't mind them, but I don't want one.
They cry and bitch way to often, something you would have to put up with until they reach the age of 20. Plus there are so many mistakes you could make as you raise them.
But I wouldn't want to see one get hit by a car Well, not too often.

[Nalle Neversure]

I love children as long as they're not mine

And I don't think it has anything to do with my asexiness.

[foxface]

I can't really choose an option, as I already have children :)

It was never simply a case of passing on genes, as was said previously, being a parent is so much more :) There are some fabulous life experiences to be gained from having children, and having these little people around has really made my life so much more worth living.... just having them there and being able to view the world in their simplistic manner, some of the things we really take for granted can be brought to the forefront by your children :) There are a ton of reasons why having children is a great idea, the same as there are a ton of reasons against :)

Although children can be adopted, myself and my husband wanted to have something that was truly *ours*. Therefore for us there was obviously some wish for us to have the whole genetic connection (maternal/paternal instinct maybe?), but in the same vein I would love to adopt a child and think people that adopt an otherwise unwanted child are fantastic, kudos to them :)

[Pay it forward]

No

[EllieZel]

I love children. I just don't want them busting out of me. Can that be an option?

[hyenaboy]

The question doesn't match the answers.

"Do you think your sexuality affects your opinion on children?"

That's a yes or no question. My answer is no.

[Cupcake_Master]

What?

..
Why would it?

I love children, most of the time. I want to adopt three when I'm an adult.
I prefer animals over children though.

[Filmfan]

Even as a child, I didn't want to be around other children, with their whining, screaming, repetitive play, and inability to hold a decent conversation... So, why would I want that as an adult?

But that has nothing to do with one's sexuality. I know straight and gay people who hate kids, as well as straight and gay people who adore them. As you can tell from the poll, asexuals are as all over the map about this topic as anyone else would be.

[iff]

tough poll choices.

it's between the 3rd one and the 4th one

i've talked about this before but here goes. i was even saying this this evening over dinner to my mother.

i am 25. i just find if odd that people i want to school with are having kids and becoming parents. my reaction to this is "but you are the same age as me. you shouldn't be having kids"

it's something i find my head hard to get around.

i don't like kids, i don't want kids. i don't want to adopt

i do think my asexuality affected my opinion on kids

[Dreamcatcher]

I would like one day to have a child......... just without the screaming, and pain of delivering myself.
And then the sleep deprivation and stress filled days that follow after that.


I would consider the adoption route for an older child though in the future. However I am not too sure sexuality comes into it much. Feeling Asexual doesn't affect those sort of decisions for me. Depends on the person.

[annwyl_cariad]

I answered that I don't mind kids. Kids can make me melt inside when they're cute. However, I mostly subscribe to what Henrik said in the podcast - if kids don't behave in socially appropriate ways, I will be pissed off at them, no matter how old they are. I will usually be more angry with the parents, though, for not teaching their kids how to behave. So many times nowadays, I see kids doing things right in front of their parents' eyes that would have gotten me a serious whuppin' when I was their age, and the parents don't even seem to care.

*feels so old saying that*

I don't know if I'll ever have kids, biological or adopted. If I find a life partner, I'll have to discuss it with them. I'd probably be a better crazy aunt than I would a mom though. I don't think my asexuality has any effect on my opinion about kids, though.

[Myr]

I don't care for most children, but care less for their parents who teach them how to act and think. Although adopting a child can be a wonderful thing, I strongly believe that both nature and nurture impact a child's development. If I ever have children, I want them to be biologicaly mine. I'm best with children who are over the age of ten, though can be good with children who are over the age of four. It depends on the child.