[The A Life Team]

Hey everyone,

This week the team celebrates our 10th episode (impressing everyone but Henrik, who's been doing this a lot longer than the rest of us) and discusses Asexual Visibility. How much we are hoping for and how we want that to work out is discussed at length, and we round out the episode by discussing what might constitute a stereotype of asexuals.

In this poll, we want your opinion- which of these things do you think are elements of the stereotypical asexual?


~The A Life Team

[GBRD143]

Other:
Independent, free-thinking and highly analytical. Able to see peer pressure for what it is and stubborn enough to resist it. Often introverted, but not necessarily anti-social.
Asexuals tend to be cerebral more than physical, but not always. In that sense, "nerdy" can apply to quite a few asexuals, but not all of them.

[daveb]

None of the above, except what GHST143 said.

[Sally]

daveb, on Oct 25 2009, 04:38 PM, said:

None of the above, except what GHST143 said.

Ditto.

[FelineHuggles]

Female, Naive, Simple and childish pretty much describes me.

[disjointed]

I feel the question needed two directions in that

(1) what do you feel as an asexual the stereotype of an asexual is and

(2) what do you feel sexuals common stereotype of asexuals are

on 2 I feel the stereotype is of a teenage emo who is going through a phase and has not had sex yet and is a bit of a geek with social/interpersonal skills issues

on 1 ..yup, what GHST143 said..but I would add that asexuals are of all ages

[egd]

disjointed, on Oct 26 2009, 09:22 AM, said:

(2) what do you feel sexuals common stereotype of asexuals are

Yeah, from the choices above... I sort of was like hoping that was the slant of the question. *laughs and turns a bit pink*

[sinisterporpoise]

I think many people would consider us the same as the stereotypical invisible pink unicorn.

[The A Life Team]

Edward, on Oct 26 2009, 07:14 PM, said:

disjointed, on Oct 26 2009, 09:22 AM, said:

(2) what do you feel sexuals common stereotype of asexuals are

Yeah, from the choices above... I sort of was like hoping that was the slant of the question. *laughs and turns a bit pink*

Yeah, this is actually what we were getting at, not so much 'what do we think of us' but 'what do you suppose sexuals think of us'. I don't know how many of you listen to the episode, but this was linked to a discussion of stereotypes of other groups to which none of the panel happens to belong (none of us is a gay man, for example) and so that disjointed conversation turned into us trying to figure out how we think sexuals will get the stereotype, should asexuality become better known.

~The A Life Team

[Rappy28]

Honestly, I think this is how sexuals view us : ugly, lonely, horny nerds who don't drink, can't get any and are deluding themselves into thinking they're "asexual" but who would in fact screw anything that says yes.
This, or naive, childlike people who WILL meet the right person one day ! Poor, poor us ! *hug*
And as for romantic asexuals who are in a relationship with a sexual, they're just poor traumatized little puppies who need to be cured of their aversion/indifference to sex, which was obviously caused by some sort of abuse.

[Ily]

Congrats on 10 episodes!
I voted "other", because I really don't think enough people know we exist to even have stereotypes. You don't have to have met a gay person to know about gay stereotypes, but you do have to acknowledge the existence of gay people. Once, when someone found out I was asexual, they told me that I had probably been sexually abused. I've also had someone interpret asexuality as that I just like to be alone. But is that a stereotype, or just someone's unthinking assumption? What's the difference?

[Myr]

I voted for everything except "simple" and "horny." Here's why:


Angry- about past relationships and/or past abuse

Anti-Social- afraid to engage in sexual activity, which could make a person closer to someone else and have more in common with our oversexed society

Nerdy- The stereotype of nerds is that they are antisocial...

Female- Many men think that women look for excuses not to have sex

Loser- This one pertains more to male asexuals, since many sexual men seem to think that having sex makes them "manly." Men who aren't "manly" are, according to these sexual men, losers. This could also be used to describe people who just can't get laid because they are ugly, social misfits, etc..., using a term like asexuality merely as a crutch.

Naive- ignorant of what sex really is- if these naive people knew, they'd appreciate and want it

Childish- haven't grown up enough to develop a sex drive, aren't mature enough to meet and date the right person who will awaken that sex drive

Other- victims of sexual abuse and mental illness

I don't think "simple" fits the stereotype if "stupidity" is what is meant. I think many asexuals are thought of as intellectuals who suppress their primitive sexual urges. I don't think "horny" fits for obvious reasons, unless what is meant is that asexuals are always horny because they refuse to satisfy their sexual desires. Many people don't understand the difference between celibacy and asexuality.


These are what I think the stereotypes are based on what I've heard from other people.

[niku-bot]

Rappy28, on Oct 26 2009, 04:29 PM, said:

Honestly, I think this is how sexuals view us : ugly, lonely, horny nerds who don't drink, can't get any and are deluding themselves into thinking they're "asexual" but who would in fact screw anything that says yes.

I've heard many people, online and IRL, who think this.

[daveb]

OK, if you're asking what I think the stereotype sexual people hold if they think of "asexual" I don't know and I don't care. I am who I am.

[annwyl_cariad]

If there were a stereotypical asexual (in the minds of sexuals), I think it would be someone who is anti-social, nerdy, and who couldn't get any even if they wanted it.

Thankfully, though, I've been lucky enough not to encounter stereotypes yet. Most of the people I've come out to have never heard of asexuality. The only person who had heard of asexuality had another asexual friend, whom I've since been lucky enough to meet. And besides, he's the kind of awesome person who doesn't really buy into stereotypes anyway. On the other hand, having a "stereotypical" asexual would at least mean that people knew about us, and that asexual kids would be able to figure out their sexual identities without the kind of grief that a lot of us went through.

I think that any minority group will have to go through a stage of being stereotyped, feared, or lampooned before being accepted. Unfortunately, I think it's just human nature. So at least, the nice thing about having a stereotype is that it's at least recognition. When we have a clear "stereotypical asexual" in the way that there is a stereotypical gay man or a stereotypical lesbian, then we'll be on our way to acceptance.

[articvibe]

GHST143, on Oct 26 2009, 10:09 AM, said:

Other:
Independent, free-thinking and highly analytical. Able to see peer pressure for what it is and stubborn enough to resist it. Often introverted, but not necessarily anti-social.
Asexuals tend to be cerebral more than physical, but not always. In that sense, "nerdy" can apply to quite a few asexuals, but not all of them.

thirded or fourthed.... or fithed i dont know couldnt be bothered scrolling down ^^

[CrazyCatLover]

I'm thinking we're likely to be sterotyped as asocial (doesn't like other people) rather than antisocial (wants to destroy other people).

Also; nerdy, naive, and childish, imo.

[Ocelot]

I chose antisocial, loser, and childish, though they don't necessarily go together. Antisocial, because people with this quality often assume themselves to be asexual, which suggests a trend. Loser I got from Encyclopedia Dramatica, a humor website that likes to make fun of stereotypes. Childish is what many people call people claiming to be asexual in defense of their own sexuality.

Other: aromantic. That I think is an important stereotype, and it's the misconception that annoys me the most.