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      World Watch Archiving Project

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    • Kisa the Cat

      Avenues May/June   05/09/17

      Hello AVENites! The newest edition of AVENues is now ready! Our theme this time was "ace connections".  May/June

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  2. I got a very old nokia when I was in my teen years to phone home when at school, but my dad used it more than I did, so I got another one. Idk why but eventually my mom bought me a sony ericsson model with a built in camera and I still have and use it, although it's almost 10 years old. I mostly use it as an alarm clock now and for people who still have that old phone number. About one year ago, when I broke up with my ex I bought an used samsung galaxy s4 with a new number because my old one cannot block numbers or anything like that. Also, I wanted to use instagram and look up train schedules while out. I'll use my mobiles until they break, I don't get people who don't. And I wouldn't pay more than a hundred bucks. Both of them are also prepaid (although I won't charge the old one anymore), and I don't have a very high data allowance because I'm mostly on wifi anyway (and once it's used up the internet speed will be slow, but working and that's enough for me). I used my laptop for most things, but recently I tend to play games or check my mails on my phone because it's more convenient.
  3. AndyAce





    1. Moderator


      That's just going too far... I am going to have to give you a warning now.

  4. @iff Thank you for your reply - thankfully I have met a range of people since moving here, mostly other mothers I have met through various children's groups, and have more 'friends' now than before. Whilst I am becoming close to one or two of them, I'm not yet at the stage where I would feel comfortable calling on them for help with something so personal just yet and I don't see people very regularly. I guess in short I would say 90% of the time it's just me and the children. Hubby is currently having to work overtime so he's out from 06:30 each day and then works four hours a day from home at the weekends (this arrangement shouldn't last past September though). We don't go out much as I mentioned but I'm learning to drive and we are very hopeful that this will allow us to get out and do more as a family (hubby doesn't drive either). I go to the gym a few times a week by myself. I see other mums on Thursdays at dance class during term time and have other meet ups (mostly with the children in tow but sometimes without) once or twice a month.
  5. "I don't like people" "I don't care" "I don't have the time" "I'm not interested" "I've got more important things to do" Etc One person was such a nuisance to answer "well it will work out some time" - "no, it won't leave me the f alone" Also don't get asked this anymore.
  6. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas made me cry like a waterfall when I had to watch it in order to write a film review about it for class. It was quite emotionally overwhelming.
  7. If someone says "I'm asexual because I love having sex all the time with everyone yay!" then I think our response should be "That's not what the word asexuality means, it means blabla", but I don't think that's the same thing as telling them "You are not asexual." All we can do is explain what asexuality is, but we can never assess whether someone fits that definition, because we will simply never have enough information on that person. We don't know why they love having sex all the time. Maybe it's perfectly reasonable for them to think of themselves as asexual. In my experience people either make a whole lot of sense when they explain why they identify as asexual or ace spectrum even though they may not completely fit the definition, or they just misunderstood what words like 'sexual attraction' or 'sexual desire' mean. Explaining these words will solve the problem for that second group. Telling people they're not asexual may be accurate for that second group, but rather than solving problems it will create new problems for that first group. So the point is, providing a definition is not the same as applying that definition to someone's life. The only one who's allowed to apply a definition to their life is themselves. Providing a definition concerns the world of ideas, applying it concerns the real empirical world.
  8. Absolutely! It's a shame I've had just one philosophy course so far but even that one course was the most interesting one all year.
  9. I kinda feel like I wasted my weekend - I spent almost all of Saturday laying on the sofa listening to the radio. I don't want it to be Monday waaaa
  10. I definitely desire certain forms of sexual interaction for pleasure with the right person (someone I am emotionally bonded to) ..but sexual attraction? Depends on how you're defining it!! My libido drives my sexuality, and with my libido can come the desire for sexual interaction with that special someone. My sexuality isn't driven in any way though by my partners appearance or a sexual response to aspects of them as a person or anything like that though. I've never looked at a stranger and assessed their potential as a sexual partner, or become horny from seeing an attractive person naked, or ever been aroused and thought "I'd love to have sex with someone hot right" (that idea actually repulses me.. I can ONLY desire sexual interactions for pleasure with someone I have an emotional bond with)..these are all ways that 'sexual attraction' is commonly defined around here, yet myself and some other sexuals who are members on AVEN (as well as some sexuals I've known in person, especially women) don't experience those things. Just a desire for partnered sexual connection for pleasure. That's what makes us sexual, the fact that sometimes we desire partnered sexual interaction for (sexual and/or emotional) pleasure. Going by the way 'sex favourable asexual' is defined by most around here, myself and these other sexuals are technically sex favourable asexuals, but no.. we are just normal sexual people who desire partnered sexual activity for pleasure under some circumstances. I'm not labeling you, you can call yourself whatever you want of course, but you don't sound sex favourable to me (sex favourable means you actively desire sex for pleasure and enjoy it when you have it) ..you sound like a sex-neutral and sometimes sexually curious asexual (meaning you don't get a lot out of sex but don't necessarily hate it every time, sometimes don't even mind it too much, when you do have it). Again though I'm not labeling you, whatever label you feel most comfortable with is the one you should go with
  11. Native language: Finnish Other spoken languages: English, Swedish Home country: Finland Country of residence: Finland Parents' home country: Finland
  12. Morning all I can see blue!
  13. this post makes so much sense to me.
  14. Banned for robbing a bank.
  15. @Pramana I am using a much narrower definition of desire here, and I feel like I'm not the only one. What I mean when I say sexual desire is much closer to what you mean when you say sexual attraction than what you mean when you say sexual desire. (I'm not saying they're the same thing). I don't think wanting to use an object as a tool counts as sexual desire towards that object. The way I use these words (which is how they're generally used in this community), wanting sex and desiring it are not the same thing. You can want sex for a ton of different reasons. You can want sex without desiring it. Think of an asexual wanting to have children, or an insecure asexual wanting to raise self-esteem through sex (not a good idea in my opinion, but hey I'm sure there's people who do that). You refusing to understand what we mean when we say sexual desire, and using your own ideas of what sexual desire is instead, is not helping anyone in this discussion. Trigger warning: rape. I don't think the definition of sexual desire is debated enough here. People just assume they're talking about the same thing, but it's obvious to me that you and I are talking about vastly different things. I don't know what the exact definition of sexual desire in the context of a definition for asexuality should be, but I think it should have to do with intimacy. As far as I know, asexuals are not able to directly get intimacy from sex the way sexuals are. About academia. Asexuality hasn't been studied for long, and for most orientations it doesn't make much sense to separate attraction from desire, since the two always occur together. You would never hear someone say "I experience sexual attraction towards men, but I only experience sexual desire towards women." That makes no sense. Only asexuals salami-slice attraction/desire/drive this much. That's why I think it's too early to use this argument to shut down any further debate. This assumes that we're in a position where we're able to do that. I'm sorry, but I don't have a doctorate degree and a permission to publish in scientific journals in this field. Academia is not exactly as accessible as you make it out to be. In the case of sexual orientations, academia is used to describe people's experiences. As was stated before, this is not an exact science where you can cut people's brains open and see their orientation. Academia fully relies on how people describe their feelings and on which words people tend to use in doing that. Academia follows experience, it doesn't dictate it. What we're trying to do here, is to collectively describe the difference in experiences between asexuality and sexuality. It makes no sense to have academic descriptions of other orientations dictate how we're allowed to express our experiences. Academia should (and up to now, largely does) follow asexual discourse, without imposing its own will on that discourse. Discourse is subject to change as people's understanding of themselves deepens and changes, and I think it's nonsensical to use academia to say that that's not allowed, since academia should follow experience, not the other way around.
  16. This is infinitely better than the original topic though imo
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  19. Captain says "mooo" when they answer their phone.
  20. Sebastopol
  21. Played Killing Floor 2 today. This is one of those asking for explanation posts. The trader said "I saw you take down that scrake. You might give me a henflesh." What's a henflesh? Is she flirting with me? Unless I heard it wrong.
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  23. Braw (Scottish dialect term for good)
  24. Oh yeah, haha. I used to be friends with a woman whose SO was jealous af. I even complimented him on being able to handle her quirks and strange thoughts all day because I couldn't. Didn't stop him from being an emotional blackmailing, abusing bitch but what do I know...
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  26. Kimmie once took the population of a cat rescue centre on a guided tour of a fish processing plant
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